Well, we'd like to go over your performance review for 2012.
Although you rarely show up to work before noon, you seem to be very social and cordial, as you settle in to your desk around 1pm.
Granted you take a 2 hour lunch, so when you get back around 3pm or so, we understand many people feel its necessary to surf the web for a while.
So the 15 to 20 minutes of work consisting of emails sifting, when you're not drunk, you seem to have a good understanding of the components that make up your job description.
We completely understand that you have to leave early on occasion to jump start the traffic rush, although we may have seen you work until 5pm from time to time, which is commendable.
And many many people find it more comfortable to work in a casual environment, by removing their shoes, socks, pants, etc. at their work desk, which opens up the doors of creativity.
Overall, we think you're doing a great job.
Keep up the great work!